Is it Saturday yet?

Slept in today and then had school. We actually had a lecture for a little bit of class but as always we got to leave early. Since I've been home around 1pm-ish I've looked at a college website and that is all I've accomplished today. I could of done homework, chores, watched some tv but no none of that sounds interesting so now im getting irritated because I'm going crazy outta boredom. My mom is always like do something there is plenty to do but not if you cant sit still for any of it. I would even take a nap but I'm not tired. On days when I'm bored and just sit around I sometimes cut myself. So I'm really hoping I find something to do soon or that my parents come home right after work. I don't know. Also, tomorrow is back to work for 5 days in a row but I don't want to go. I have no choice but to go otherwise I lose my job and I need my job. However, I'm not use to having a consistent schedule so it drives me crazy to not have multiple days to myself. Like I hate having and job and school so I can never like go to the hospital for a "break" from the real world. It's nice in there not having to worry about where you need to be and such. Though, my parents would never let me go to the hospital again. They don't think people go in there just for a little break to get themselves back together....they say I need to do it all on my own while I'm balancing school and work. It sucks! Well I'm going to go because this is just upsetting me that I can't take care of myself.

Back to the Real World

So today is my last day of "vacation", meaning tomorrow is back to work. I'm excited to go back to making money. Today I had school and went to the library. I got Doctor Who season two, Law & Order SVU, Hoodwinked Too, and some Scooby-Doo movies! Yes I am 20 years old and want to watch Scooby-Doo, I even put Scooby-Doo on my Christmas list for this year. Now for another subject lets talk boys. Theres this guy that use to live a couple streets away from me and he had a crush on me in High School, then I believe it was after High School he asked me out but I turned him down. Then just a couple months ago I got interested in him but he was over me. However, now I believe he is back to being interested but I think all he is concerned about is getting sex. I'm not like that though. I'm not just going to have him ask me out and then the next day want to get in my pants. I guess you could say I'm old fashioned but I want to save myself for the right guy at the right time. I don't want to sleep around with billions of guys, I'm better than that! Oh, and good news! Perfect by Ellen Hopkins comes out tomorrow so my copy should be coming any day!. Well I think I'm going to go to bed now.

-jlo

Ahhhh Boys Have Cooties!!!

Okay, so I should fill you all in on whats been going down. I did my review for my raise on Tuesday and I'm pretty sure I got the raise and then Wednesday I worked and after work I got pulled into a meeting for a write-up and got suspended for too many lates and absences. So today was my first day of suspension out of 3 days. I had therapy and I feel it went really well. I wish I could go to therapy next week too but I am broke as can be. Then I did something for a friend and I think I did the right thing but I dont know. And just now I came home from hanging with all my friends we watched Jennifers Body and it was hysterical. One of the guys that was watching the movie with all of us has a secret crush on me I believe. We talked about how everything is going on and when I left he told me to text him sometime so we can get together...so to me that sounds like "hey I want to get to know you better" but who knows. Well I think Im going to bed now. I'm tired.

-jlo

Blahhh

So the weekend was decent. Went to my brothers saturday to play some Halo and he bought me lunch. Then sunday I went over to a friends house for movie night but I was lame and didnt manage to stay up too late. And as of today, monday, I've been just taking it easy playing some video games with my parents....Yes my parents play videogames, we have recently fell in love with Dokapon Kingdom. Oh, also, I read some of Sisterhood Everlastinng. I'm trying to rush through it so I can lend it to a friend so I have someone I can discuss it with. Another thing is I'm feeling shaky today, I'm not sure if its my anxiety or what. It's possible it could be my anxiety though; I have a lot on my plate this week. Tomorrow at work I find out if I'm getting suspended because I was late 4mins, it was entirely my fault and if I get suspended I will accept it, theres not much more I can do. Then tomorrow I have to see if my work will let me take this test to see if I can get a raise. I tried to do it saturday but my work said the weekends are to busy for that so I am to try to do it this week but the date on my paperwork was for yesterday so I hope they are not going to say that I missed my opportunity. For thursday I have two appointments at the same time. I have to choose between my therapist and my dermatologist. It's an easy choice for me though my mom disagree's with me. I feel that I need to see my therapist so we can figure out whats going on and why I am backtracking rather than making progress but my dermatologist might charge me a cancelation fee and I'm broke this week so its just pure chaos. Well I must go now dinner is done. Goodnight!

jlo

Is It Bedtime Yet?

Hello World,

Today is an okay day I guess. I woke up this morning depressed for no reason (everyone tells me there has to be a reason but I slept fine so I dont know), then I went to work and on my cart was a razor blade; so I was staring at the blade being like this must be a sign telling me I can give in and cut. However, I didn't!  I kept the blade with me for my four hours of my shift and managed to ignore it. Also, I did not take the blade home, where it is currently located is unknown, this girl I work with had it last. Then after all that fun working I had to go to school afterwards. Class wasnt actually that bad we just fooled around with our student email accounts. But right now I have a killer headache and just want to lay on floor and sleep my days away. I don't want to slip back into my depression, I need to stay positive and kick butt at school but its hard.

-jlod

Who Knows

So I worked today and there was stuff today and it was fun. Then on the way home a wave of depression came over me. I dont know why but I wanted to hurt myself just for the heck of it. I cannot go back down that road! But now its much later in the day and I managed to get through it. I'm just waiting for my dad to get home and then me and him are going to spend some quality time together watching tv. Oh and crazy news I cut my bangs for the first time in my life! I got my haircut the other day and the lady did a horrible job. So I decided to attempt to fix my bangs, I don't know if they look good or bad. I dont think they look bad but they arent perfect but they'll grow out.

-jlo

8/27/11

So today is a pretty good day so far. We actually got a truck or maybe trucks in so we had stuff to stock for a change this week. By the way I work at a wonderful Menards as a Morning Stocker. My shift ended a couple hours ago so now I'm just waiting on my dad to finish up working on his van and then my parents and I are going to go to one of my favorite places for lunch (Dog N' Suds). I get the same thing every time I go there: cheeseburger, medium rootbeer, and mini mozarella stix. Sadly I've been there only once this summer and in a couple months they will close for the winter so I need to go like a billion more times still. Then my plans after that are to do some shopping with my dad and then I should read for school and do my two quizzes that are do tomorrow so I can get them done and over with. Well thats all I got for now so seeya!

-jlo